Tomb of Horrors In Space

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\m/ !!! MOAR MetAl !!! \m/

DOOM ON THE WARDEN, for Metamorphosis Alpha

You’ve only got a few days left to get in on the massacre adventure. So what are you waiting for?

They’re making two new colour bands for this (scroll down; bottom of The Stretch Goals; right before Add-Ons): Bioscience is one; the other is Military Command.

And get this, while chatting in the comments I learned that the Command Band I received when I backed the deluxe hardcover Kickstarter a few years ago is one of only four. I had no idea! Check it out:

You’re my megalict now!

[Edit: Turns out there are at least SEVEN Command Bands. Still. Pretty cool.]

Starship of Dread

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I was recently flipping through the Fifth Age DMG and came across this [on pages 56-7]:

They’re talking about the Plane of Water. But it’s pretty simple to switch that for Space and replace “Isle of Dread” with Starship Warden.

If you think of the original disastrous “cloud of space radiation” as also being a temporal anomaly, a wormhole and a warp storm the “sky’s” the limit. She’s a dimension-drifting, plane-plying, time-tripping Great Space Coaster. Anything and everything can — and has — happened to the Warden. She’s been everywhere, seen it all.

You want a Chronosaur time team? Done! Alien Legion recce patrol? No problem. Terminators vs Terminators? Go for it! Were Justifiers secreted inside? I say yes. Have Zhodani Commandos ‘ported aboard? Affirmative. Are Greys mutilating cattle and probing primitives? At this point, do you really have to ask?

I keep the radiation cloud as the original incident. Then I mix things together like Swamp Water. Seeds here, nuggets there; encounters nearby, quests decks away. It doesn’t always work:

But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.


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Short version:

Back The Starship Warden Kickstarter

[But you’ve less than a week.]

More interesting version:

Per my earlier post — HERE — I’ve given quite a bit of thought to the Starship Warden as a relict and derelict megadungeon in space, a megalict if you will.

In Rogue Trader terms the Warden — given its size — falls somewhere along the lines of a Craftworld or a Space Hulk. It’s also essentially a Hive City in space. WARBAND! (with Space-Age Sorcery and Misty Isles of the Eld, obvs) is the perfect vehicle to get that old 40Kaos aboard the Warden. [And they’re putting The Wren Adventure (scroll down to the $20,000 Stretch Reward) in the book, so magic might materialize!]

And I’ve run games of X-plorers where the party of starfaring adventurers find and board a version of the ship. Turns out scenes like this:

And this:

… are as distressing to high-tech scientists and scoundrels as they are to ignorant hunter-gatherers.

Anyway, as I said, I’ve done a lot of thinking, writing and playing on the Warden. Lately I returned to this piece of work which I’d let lapse:

I was detailing the ship’s layouts and plans as expanded upon by the terrific Goodman Games Metamorphosis Alpha material. I’ve been playing Mutants and Death Ray Guns — my goto space-poc skirmish rules — using the Warden as the setting and thinking about it more and more as a starlost Necromunda.

Now it looks like I won’t have to map it all myself because these guys are doing it for me. Nice!

Another foray into roleplaying with the ship has been percolating in my brain lately as well. I want to anchor Alpha Blue in a fixed position near the Warden, kind of like this [just replace the wormhole with the megalict and DS9 with the sexy space station]:

And now that The Starship Warden is including The Goya Adventure (scroll about halfway down, to the spaceship picture), why not go for it?

Madness-in-a-can is also a great setting for Encounter Critical.

Were they the same guy?

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I was recently reminded of the Georgia Guidestones so I poked around about them again. I’ve done so briefly in the past and moved on. This time though, something struck me that hadn’t before.

Compare this excerpt from The Morrow Project:

… with the History of the Stones.

I’m pretty sure Bruce Edward Morrow was Robert C. Christian.

Which means the stones were erected by the Council of Tomorrow.

Death Waves

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Death Ship and Shock Waves

These two pretty good movies are even better back-to-back. In fact, they’re such a great double feature they could be cut together with surprisingly little editing or imagination.

[EDIT: Just when you think your life can’t possibly be made any better, Bob Murch walks into the bar:

The Black Sun Kickstarter had this magnificent bastard lined up. In a perfect world, we’ll see him soon.]

I have a theory

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Planetary Apes you say?

Godzillas you say?

(Planet of the) Apes travel back in time from the far, far, faaaaar future to conquer pre-Apocalypse earth with their giant lizard cyaborg.

We are saved by the real giant lizard and — ironically — Caesar, from whom the Ape founder took his name.

Also explains the Apes’ desire to get control of the King.

This totally factual historical event is chronicled in the always awesome Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.

Damnation Van Die Drop!

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I knocked this together *checks files* three years ago? Wow! Anyway, a few days ago I decided to finish it up and finally get it posted.



[It’ll print best if you use a US Letter Borderless paper setting. And you might want to massage the image scale so it fills the sheet and still keeps the orange border.]

Then today I found this post on S. John Ross’ Rolltop Indigo.

He describes a couple of Vans I didn’t know about, so that’s cool. More shoehorn material (see below).

Use the table like this:



For when adventurers find a Damnation Van in the wilds of Vanth.

Print out the table; put it in a box top (preferably something like Gamma World or Peril on the Purple Planet, ‘cause that’s proper).

Drop a d10 onto the table. Whichever numbered area (1 to 12) it’s mostly on is the type they find.

The number on the die is the percent (in 10s) of the vehicle’s functionality. Roll another d10 to generate the 1s for the percentage.

Any given Damnation Van has room for a crew of 1 + 1d6.


  1. Landmaster:
  1. Vesta:
  1. Haunted, Possessed or Just Plain Evil Van: Self-aware.
  1. Star Van: If you can get it into space, it’s capable of interstellar travel.
  1. Vanpire: Self-aware. It’s powered by blood, either the driver’s or roadkill.
  1. Battletruck:
  1. Ark II:
  1. EM-50:
  1. Monster Van: Either (50/50) a straight-up “Forty foot mud pit!” monster truck; or a van that is also a monster (lycanthrope? cyberthrope?), like, say Megafoot (see this, this and this).
  1. Vansformer: Self-aware. Can change itself into a big robot at will. 50% chance it can do so with people inside; if not, they have to get out first. Like this guy: or this guy:
  1. Wizard Van: 50/50 it’s either: A) A self-aware Warlock (roll a d6 for Level); or B) Powered by magic. Do an image search for Wizard Van.
  1. Dead Reckoning:

And lucky 13: Panzer. ( See pages 7-9 of Hardwired, page 29 of Chromebook and my articles in Challenge 70. Shoehorn this one in wherever you want.)

Aaannd you might also want to cram a Vandroid (see page 96) in there somewhere. I mean, it’s not a perfect fit. But … come on!


I also feel like Van den Danderclanden should be involved here. I mean, look at that name! Maybe one of his parallel selves roams the wilds of Vanth in a ramshackle Damnation Van. Hell, maybe he is a Wizard Van!

Or, maybe he’s from Holland. Isn’t that veird?

Anyway, here’s a pdf of the list:

If the adventurers find only a partial Damnation Van, say less than 35%, the Journey Master will have to decide how much use they can get out of it. Further adventures to find fuel, parts and tools will likely be in order.

If the Journey Master wants more FrankenVans in the world — and really, who doesn’t? — he can split the die drop between whichever Vans it lands on. That way you can have anywhere from say 80/20 to 50/50 combos. How about a 60/40 EM-50/Monster Van? Or a 70/30 Haunted/Star Van?

Machine Friend checks can be used to counter a failed Lemon roll. In exceptional circs a Journey Master might allow a Luck stat (highest in the party only) test to overcome a failed Lemon roll (one stat test per failed roll).

Well, there you go. Whatever a Damnation Van is, now you have a few to rampage around in.

[Edit: And what about Desert Foxey Lady, that “BMW” Vixen driven by an all-girl skulk of Kitsune bandits?]