I knocked this together *checks files* three years ago? Wow! Anyway, a few days ago I decided to finish it up and finally get it posted.
[It’ll print best if you use a US Letter Borderless paper setting. And you might want to massage the image scale so it fills the sheet and still keeps the orange border.]
Then today I found this post on S. John Ross’ Rolltop Indigo.
He describes a couple of Vans I didn’t know about, so that’s cool. More shoehorn material (see below).
Use the table like this:
DAMNATION VAN DIE DROP TABLE
For when adventurers find a Damnation Van in the wilds of Vanth.
Print out the table; put it in a box top (preferably something like Gamma World or Peril on the Purple Planet, ‘cause that’s proper).
Drop a d10 onto the table. Whichever numbered area (1 to 12) it’s mostly on is the type they find.
The number on the die is the percent (in 10s) of the vehicle’s functionality. Roll another d10 to generate the 1s for the percentage.
Any given Damnation Van has room for a crew of 1 + 1d6.
- Haunted, Possessed or Just Plain Evil Van: Self-aware. https://everipedia.org/wiki/lang_en/The_Car
- Star Van: If you can get it into space, it’s capable of interstellar travel. https://everipedia.org/wiki/lang_en/Spaceballs
- Vanpire: Self-aware. It’s powered by blood, either the driver’s or roadkill. http://interloperminiatures.com/2016/09/thought-pretty-clever/
- Battletruck: https://everipedia.org/wiki/lang_en/Battletruck
- Monster Van: https://monstertruck.fandom.com/wiki/Rollin%27_Thunder_(Oldaker). Either (50/50) a straight-up “Forty foot mud pit!” monster truck; or a van that is also a monster (lycanthrope? cyberthrope?), like, say Megafoot (see this, this and this).
- Vansformer: Self-aware. Can change itself into a big robot at will. 50% chance it can do so with people inside; if not, they have to get out first. Like this guy: http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Ironhide_(G1)/Generation_1_cartoon_continuity or this guy: http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Bulkhead_(Animated).
- Wizard Van: 50/50 it’s either: A) A self-aware Warlock (roll a d6 for Level); or B) Powered by magic. Do an image search for Wizard Van.
- Dead Reckoning: https://everipedia.org/wiki/lang_en/Land_of_the_Dead
And lucky 13: Panzer. (https://cyberpunk.fandom.com/wiki/Panzerboy See pages 7-9 of Hardwired, page 29 of Chromebook and my articles in Challenge 70. Shoehorn this one in wherever you want.)
Aaannd you might also want to cram a Vandroid (see page 96) in there somewhere. I mean, it’s not a perfect fit. But … come on!
I also feel like Van den Danderclanden should be involved here. I mean, look at that name! Maybe one of his parallel selves roams the wilds of Vanth in a ramshackle Damnation Van. Hell, maybe he is a Wizard Van!
Or, maybe he’s from Holland. Isn’t that veird?
Anyway, here’s a pdf of the list:
If the adventurers find only a partial Damnation Van, say less than 35%, the Journey Master will have to decide how much use they can get out of it. Further adventures to find fuel, parts and tools will likely be in order.
If the Journey Master wants more FrankenVans in the world — and really, who doesn’t? — he can split the die drop between whichever Vans it lands on. That way you can have anywhere from say 80/20 to 50/50 combos. How about a 60/40 EM-50/Monster Van? Or a 70/30 Haunted/Star Van?
Machine Friend checks can be used to counter a failed Lemon roll. In exceptional circs a Journey Master might allow a Luck stat (highest in the party only) test to overcome a failed Lemon roll (one stat test per failed roll).
Well, there you go. Whatever a Damnation Van is, now you have a few to rampage around in.
[Edit: And what about Desert Foxey Lady, that “BMW” Vixen driven by an all-girl skulk of Kitsune bandits?]